mind dump.
This blog is a little of this, and a little of that.
The last 4 years: what have we learned?
This week, we begin the 4th consecutive year of that course. Some things have changed and some things have not. But, the difference today is that we have a much deeper sophistication and understanding of the problems, we have loads of data to back that up, and we no longer believe that the challenges that mothers face is an individual problem to be solved but is instead a collective problem, a “we problem”, that affects everyone, all genders, all ages, all cultural, racial, and ethnic identities.
feliz ano novo.
I love the New Year because it is all about fresh starts. But, New Year’s celebrations in the United States can sometimes be overrated and a little bit hollow. But the good news is that we can make it whatever we want. And tonight, I’m planning to add a little Brazilian tradition to my celebration.
Dreamers, I see you.
Dream on, dreamers. I see you.
Its time to get on board, change is inevitable.
…I can’t “unsee” the things that require change. Change that I myself must still undergo. Change that organizations must undergo. Change that society must undergo.
Time Affluence
Lets be real, TIME is the one thing we want more of. TIME is what we crave. TIME is what should be added to our health and wellness inventories. TIME for noticing, feeling, listening, and connecting with others. TIME, is how we should be measuring affluence
This is 2022.
I will not stand still, I will not sit back and watch the world unfold in front of me. I will be here [with you] to shape it, to shift it, to move it –to both build it up and break it down –together we will move mountains.
A new understanding of “warrior”.
I didn’t know at that time how profound of an impact my time in East Africa has had on my lifetime. What I do know now is that my purpose comes from a foundation of the stories that I have collected along my journey which have become a guiding force for my work today.
Gratitude and relative-deprivation theory.
Several years ago, when I began digging into the work and research around the confluence of motherhood and work, almost every mother that I interviewed made sure to share that despite the hardships that she may face in her day-to-day life that she was “grateful” or “lucky” that she had a partner who supported her (1). Mothers, whether they work for pay or not, over and over give concession to their partners for one thing or another.
My emoji tendency.
I am an emoji texter. Yep, I emojify to punctuate. For those of you that know this about me, and still love me despite these tendencies, I appreciate you…
The Big D.
We must be willing to open ourselves to see things differently, to see that Divorce is not an end, not a stigma, not a judgment, but a new beginning.
extra-ordinary kids.
I have amazing kids. But wait, before you presume a load of exaggerated braggadocio coming your way, hear me out. I actually believe my kids are extraordinary. Does that mean they are perfect? No. Does that mean they aren’t still finding their way or avoiding mistakes along their growing up journey? Hell no. But the truth is they are showing up.
Why I read “Man Enough: Undefining My Masculinity” by Justin Baldoni.
Truth be told, I was already armchair crushing on Jason Baldoni (aka Rafael) during all five seasons of Jane The Virgin, but now? Well now I’m taking that armchair crush all the way to the couch after reading his new book “Man Enough: Undefining My Masculinity” and learning that there is so much more to him than chiseled chest, ripped abs, and acting chops
The economics of care.
The work you do to provide care and support to others is valuable. The work you do to ensure that nothing falls through the cracks for your family is valuable. The wiping of noses, the appointment making, the listening and hand holding, the sandwich making and snack packing and the never ending to-do lists. ALL. VALUABLE.
Work-family conflict & how we got here.
Have you ever really thought about why we have work-family conflict, and how this invisible force causing friction between work and family, really originated? Isn’t it just life, after all, and how did we get here?
The mom resume.
It all changed when I became a mom. Certainly not my ambition, nor my desire to continue learning, nor my hopes & dreams, but what my resume would say and how (or if) it would even matter.
Tickle the earth & nourish the moon.
I was not yet a mother but was always drawn to the color and whimsy of the OILILY brand, a Dutch retailer who specializes in happy and colorful clothing for women and children. Back when they had retail outlets in the US, I always enjoyed walking into the store just to absorb the onslaught of sunshine and rainbows that emanated from both the racks and the walls. So much color, so much whimsy, so much joy in their prints and patterns.
It’s not a Z thing.
This young generation is on fire and if we don’t pay close attention to who they are and what they stand for, we might as well get right back under our rock. Soon GenZ will be one-third of the worlds’ population and the most diverse generation in our nation’s history.
The Motherhood Penalty.
According to the International Labor Organization, in all regions of the world, mothers suffer a wage penalty and a decrease in earnings for each child they bear. On average, according to the OECD, the motherhood penalty amounts to about a 7% wage reduction per child in the world. Deep Breaths….
The journey.
Little do we know when we launch into the journey of motherhood that we will be starting a new adventure, one that is certainly not as sexy or interesting as trekking through the Indian Himalayas or tanning on the beaches of the French Riviera, but a journey full of breathless moments, cultural discovery in its own right, and the opportunity to experience life at its highest peaks and lowest valleys
Mkubwa Mama
In my early twenties I had a life changing opportunity to live in East Africa and my experiences from that time continue to shape me into the person I am today both consciously and unconsciously.